Glad that I got it over with at the beginning of our marriage. We've been married for 14+ years and we never have to worry about birthday/anniversary/holiday gifts. In fact, we usually don't remember these dates until a week or two afterwards.
It also happens that most of our family members are states away. None of them wants to travel for holidays (and we don't want to leave our dogs at a boarding facility), so we don't spend holidays with families. At one point, hubby and I participated in holiday gatherings with our friends, not anymore. They were too stressful for me. Hubby used to think it was weird how I often became very irritable after gatherings. I was happy and bubbly during the events, but it was a totally different story afterward. Once I got my diagnosis, we realized it was due to sensory overload. I was irritable because I was mentally tired from constantly trying to make sure I was saying and doing the right things. Not that I did not enjoy these gatherings, they just took a lot out of me.
So no more, after I got diagnosed, I decided I was not going to force myself to do stuff like that anymore. Hubby is okay with it. Hubby says taking care of an aspie and four dogs is no small task, he needs all the time off he can get anyway. He is not going to complain about getting more time to rest, LOL. Nowadays, holidays to us are just days for us to stay home, relax, and spend time with our dogs.
I do, however, make attempts to respect other people's desire to celebrate whatever they want to celebrate. My mom enjoys birthday, Mother's day, and Christmas gifts, so I send them to her. Internet shopping makes it easy enough to do so. My assistants at work want to exchange Christmas gifts, I am totally fine with it as well.
Hubby and I don't buy gifts for each other though. I always feel that if I want something, and it is within our budget, well, I will just buy it myself. Why do I have to wait for someone else to buy it for me? It takes too much work for me to try to drop hints and then wonder if I will get the correct gift or not. Plus why do I have to wait for a "special day?" Any day can be a special day, if I want it to be. Same goes for hubby, if he wants something, he can get it himself. It makes life simpler for both of us.
|San San and I|